Board Thread:Off-Topic/@comment-35324176-20181228162404/@comment-34056850-20190103003702

ok im gonna tell it

so today i have a really scary crazy story for u. now at first i wasn't gonna tell you because it's not true and it never really happened because i made the whole thing up but i decided it's so crazy i have to share it with you so that maybe you can learn from it and be a little more safe than i was. The story is so insane and i already know all of u are gonna be like 'omg this story is so fake' 'how can anyone believe this its obviously fake' which it is so im gonna tell it as if it's true in hopes people will believe it. so this story starts off with way too much backstory which ill tell you so this story will sound more believable kinda like when you're lying to your parents and telling way too many details to try to make it seem real, same deal here. so as u know the universe started with the big bang, early life started to develop in the dark depths of the indians and all it took was one gigantic meteor to wipe out all the dinosaurs,early cavemen developed wooden and then later stone tools which helped them build stuff. Jimmy fallon actually ended up taking over the tonight show. i was born to two loving parents blah blah blah so i just give you a bunch of useless backstory leading up to the story i actually wanna tell to make this story as long as possible. So now that we've got that backstory out of the way we can get to the main story. so basically i was at this party with my friend who i don't wanna name to protect his identity and because this friend doesn't actually exist because this story is made up. So basically it came time for us to head out so we decided we were going to order an uber like any reasonable person would. So the uber driver picked us up and at first everything seemed pretty normal. the uber driver seemed like a nice normal guy,me and my normal friend were just haivng a normal conversation in the back of his normal car when suddenly things became NOT NORMAL. The uber driver started making all these CRAZY turns! He would turn down one street and then another street and then before you know it, another street after that! He would stop at stop signs and speed up at green lights then a bunch of other wild stuff happened. He killed my friend for no reason. He kidnapped me (??), he made us stop at a daycare to pick up his daughter?!?! he went to mcdonalds and got some chicken nuggets! he tried to sell us clothes?? he tried to kiss me??? we got married ?!?! He cheated on me with a dog?? He robbed me and then murdered me????! So.. tbh.. it was just a super traumatic experience and idek how i made it through i get a little teary everytime i think about it because crying makes it seem more believable. So finally the uber driver dropped me off at home so i called the police and had them arrest him but dont uh look up the arrest records because.. hes a magician and he made them all dissapear. it also wont be on the news because he owns all the major news stations also he owns them so he just to not publish any stories about his arrest. So guys i hope this story makes an impact on you because the moral of the story is obviously to NEVER GET IN AN UBER EVER. Make sure you guys use my uber code next time you take an uber  ❤️