Board Thread:Off-Topic/@comment-35990356-20181216030253

Hello jammers! So, I know a lot of people feel bad or frustrated or annoyed or some type of way that isn't happy. So, please, feel free to write your feelings out here! The only rules, are please '''do not argue, or bully, and please do not tell somebody their feelings are wrong. Do NOT start drama.''' I'll start!

So, i'm extremely suicidal. I used to cut myself, and have attempted suicide once. People say I do this for attention and such, but I don't see how? Why would I kill myself for attention? I'd be dead, so what's the point of that? smh. The only friends I have are my friends from school, and I play xbox with them. the issue is, they bully me. I have no self confidence whatsoever, and every single day the entire time I am online they bully me. do people think its funny to drive somebody who is suicidal off the edge? their driving me to kill myself. I've tried speaking my feelings to them but they don't listen. it really hurts. At school in third period I got so angry I broke a pencil with one hand. (my hand was in a thumbs up position, but with the pencil in the middle.. I snapped my thumb against it and it broke. I then slammed my hand against the table until it hurt so bad and my knuckles and 'bending points' of my fingers were purple, and I had bruises covering my hand. it didn't even click into my head that, hey! that's bad! until the next day. i'm not mentally okay, and I really just constantly want to kill myself. when people got so angry about people going 'lol I wanna die' I never understood until I became like this, because now I know how it really feels to want to die, and to be mentally unstable. it's not fun. now, I've 'joined the club' it makes me angry when people say 'I want to die' after something so minimal. it infuriates me. my arm is covered in scars, and my most recent cuts (from October 10th) are still red. I slashed pretty deep. I've stopped the habit of cutting myself, but I see my old razor blade so much and always want to just do the job. in gym class a few weeks ago we tied a noose with the jumprope for fun, and when nobody was looking I put it on my neck and tightened it. the people in my class found me and untied it before I met the sweet success of death. an unfortunate event. and there's so so so so so' much more, l but that's for another day. thanks for reading. now, you write your feelings. i'm sure somebody here on this wiki would care about you, unlike me. nobody cares about me. 