User blog comment:Xxblacksoulsxx/I need help/@comment-34193805-20190216001047

repetition- so you're speaking in third person, it's alright to not use the names after each sentence. describe the characters, their genders, so the reading knows who is talking and not get confused (commas also help)

spelling- don't capitalize every word, only nouns. remember when to cut off a sentence in the same quote but not too many commas that way it isn't trailing off too long. remember to space between paragraphs so it isn't a chunk of text

quotes- I got kinda confused in some parts of the story, know when to not let quotes spill into eachother

sensory details-  big but simple words work. no I don't mean use the scientific word, but things like terrian, bristly, shifted, etc..simple but effective sensory adjectives that will help improve writing, making transitions smoother also work

I'm not sure what grade youre in but you have very good potential at writing and I hope you improve! (ehehe I obviously have a lot of time on my hands)