All posts by Introverted void

so hi…

i know i keep reappearing and disappearing lol and im sure its still kind of weird to see me be casual. but honestly i dont know where else to put this, i have The Urge to just write all this shit down. and honestly thank u tinke for doing your vents bc im much more comfortable opening up here …

if you don’t know me, hello im void! i was a staff member in the past and now i just pop by every now and then to see how stuff is going. very nice to see both familiar and new faces!

anyways, lets get to it. for context, im a muslim, i wear a headscarf, and eyeliner with it because i cannot live without eyeliner. i attend one of the top few high schools in the us, though i wont say the exact # for identity reasons (i’m a junior now) and the year just started. i have a solid amount of friends, i didnt really put myself out there until sophomore year so a lot of my friendships are loose? but i do have a group that i chill with and our community is tightly knit as a whole.

so anyways i was prepping for hoco, im inviting a shit ton of friends outside of school and our weekend is going to be a blast. we’ll sleep over, eat out, do all the rad stuff

im taking ap calc rn and this boy is assigned a seat next to me. he’s a solid 8-9 but i know a lot of my friends are interested and so hes hands-off territory. and being muslim i can’t really date easily anyways (hes atheist so i cant). today our teacher threw a packet at us to work on and he worked with me (surprisingly?? i usually go to my friends and he goes to his)

then at the end he turned to me and asked if im going to hoco. he asked if i have a date, and awkwardly i said no. then im about 90% sure he asked me out. his exact words were: “Hm, I think we’d look good together. Seriously.” and then he just… up and left… then during lunch (we all have one lunch) he kept looking at me and my friends. he’s mentioned he has moderate anxiety that kicks up especially in tense situations and i feel like maybe he didnt mean to be so vague??

i NEVER expected this. he honestly treated me like he treated anybody else so i dont get what clicked in him. i dont even know if he actually meant to ask me out or if he just sucks at making conversation that made me violently misread it. i dont want to ditch all my oos friends during hoco nor do i want to make him feel like a third wheel w my friends. and my religion!

yet at the same time hes honestly the sweetest guy i have ever met, like he takes time out of his day to compliment me and my work and he has this really genuine laugh. everybody at this school is sweet in general but i feel it’s worth singling him out. honestly now that i think about it i think he made moves in the past that flew over my head.

my compromise is tough. ill see him again on thursday, drop a few of my own hints that im down, and then my other friend Lana plans on asking him out on friday. from there ill assess what i should do.

so its just the waiting game atp! honestly the more i think of him the more i want to go with him so its NERVEWRACKING. pro tip: never have a “group” crush where a part of or your entire friend group has a crush on one person, it either ends in unsettling stalking, mutual upsetting, extremely fake congratulations or visible jealousy.

i hope i can get out of this soon

its like 12am and i woke up 20 hours ago so im super tired and probably wont even remember that i wrote this. excuse the typos

THANKS !!